This week I’ll be playing against the Flea Bitten Varmints (formerly known as the House Rabbits). For those of you that don’t know, their owner has decided to change the team name hoping to inspire the same out of Dan Snyder. The new team name isn’t official, but I can only assume this was the one logical alternative. I just want everyone to know that when I put the beatdown on them I will do it compassionately.
I want to clear the air from any confusion from those who I think I might be trying to eat them (those earlier “in the pot you go” remarks, who said that?). Even though I have a new cast iron pot up to the job, the fleas have beat me to it and ruined that tasty tasty meat. This will be more like the compassionate act of Old Yeller being put down at the end of the movie.
Their last hopes of stealing this victory were pretty much sealed Thursday night by stacking the lineup with Bears players against the hapless Giants. Yes, Matt Forte and Brandon Marshall racked up 30 pts between them, my Leafs capped every scoring drive off with Robbie Gould putting the field goals and extra points. As the Fleas owner must have been watching this game feeling conflicted on every drive, hoping her players yards would get them just out of field goal range, or some how hoping they would go for the 2 point conversion.
Today at 4:05pm we’ll all be watching the one even more uneven unfair matchup of the mighty Peyton Manning (Leaf’s starting QB) with Eric Decker (Leaf’s starting WR) attempting to run up the score to over 50 pts for a third straight week. Run out the clock and just have Peyton hand it off you say? Hand it off to my RB Knowshon Moreno you mean leaving my fantasy team likely to invoke the mercy rule. And what will be the Varmints response on QB, Cam Newton? Seriously, are they even trying anymore? Great choice, if this was 2 years ago. Was John Elway not available? According to Sportsxchange “QB Peyton Manning has more touchdown passes (20) and a higher completion percentage (75.8) and passer rating (136.4) through the first five games of a season than anyone else in league history.” I believe they also went on to quote Mr. Manning as saying he’ll gladly pile on the points though I can’t find that reference at the moment.
Think the Rodents might be saved by WR Larry Fitzgerald? Check again and you’ll notice he’s listed as Questionable for this weeks game. For those of you smart alecs out there, that’s his INJURY STATUS, not his sexuality (not that there would be anything wrong with that. In fact I’d commend him for it if he were coming out of the closet, but he is just less likely to put up big numbers or even play – get your mind out of the gutter). Also, less threat from the Cardinals will make things even better for the SF defense owned by none other than, you guessed it, this one (me pointing at myself).
Note I’ve also got T.Y. Hilton from the Colts this week playing against SD. Does South Dakota even have a team, let alone anyone that can stop my players? I think not! Also, don’t overlook LeSean McCoy. While he has been averaging 14.90 points per game, the Eagles will be without Dog Killer at QB who has been stealing my RB’s yards, but not this game so I expect double the points from him this week.
Trivia time folks, do you remember when Peyton Manning was drafted who was drafted right after him?