2 weeks

I started a new job recently and now that I’ve been there for a while, I feel more comfortable opining on it now.  It’s freaky deaky normal!  I mean, the people are nice!  They are all competent! And there’s great camaraderie!  And the management are genuine and are first to pooh pooh an assignment or call out someone’s bad behavior before we even open our mouths.  It’s like I think it and they say it.  I feel pretty darned lucky landing where I have.  It’s not easy to find a job that doesn’t make me dread going back to work on Sunday night.

The 1%

One time, during a game night with the cousins, we got these delicious cupcakes from a bakery that were castoffs from a “mistake” they had made with a customer’s order. It was for a little boy’s birthday party. The issue with the boutique cupcakes? They were the wrong shade of blue. The name of the child? Mason. Appropriate.

I’ve spent a month dealing with what I call 1%-people problems. The rest of us peons don’t buy $300 sweaters. The rest of us peons don’t see the phantom wrinkles on your khaki pants that require you to get it professionally cleaned and pressed not once, not twice, but three times. At least that’s the count so far. So when you’re off complaining about coal or nuclear plants please, stuff it. Cleaning requires water and electricity. And lady, you and your husband need a psychiatrist, not a dry cleaner.

Some just have very different priorities from me and I have a really hard time pretending to give a shit when you tell me you have a stain on your brand new blouse. It came from food right? You had food. Lucky you. It’s not even a good looking blouse. It’s polyester, made in China! Some 5 year old probably stitched it together. And yes, you still have to pay for it even if the spot doesn’t come out. I don’t see any signs around here guaranteeing all stains will be removed. This is how some of them get to join the 1% ranks. Not only do they out earn most of us, they out cheap most of us. They expect something for nothing.

I don’t know where I’m going with this. I’m just annoyed working in the services industry.

Long drive home

Lately, I’ve been driving to and from work on probably the most congested piece of road I’ve ever encountered. This particular highway is literally, and I mean literally, congested ALL THE TIME! I drive there at 7:30 PM, 8:00, 8:30, it’s bumper to bumper, I’m there at 6:00 PM on a Saturday and, surprise, it’s bumper to bumper. Is there no reprieve!!?! No. Well, ok, at 6:30 AM it’s going faster than 40 MPH. So tonight, I decide to take a different route. I’ve known about this alternative for over 3 weeks but have been too chicken to try a new route at night all by myself. Tonight, however, before leaving work, I checked the traffic reports and it was stop and go. I waited at work until 7:30 PM and decided enough! It’s Friday night. It’s high time I found my ovaries and tested this new way home. I wrote out directions and was on my way. For a second, I thought I had missed my exit and was sort of worried, and in another segment, there was construction which threw my directions off and I had to follow the detour road signs, but all-in-all, it was a great, uncongested drive home. This is definitely my new way home from work.

Air Pollution

I’ve been in training downtown this week and since our instructor gave us 1.5 hours for lunch on Monday and Tuesday, I took the extra hour to walk around the city. In just 2 days, I developed a sore throat. It’s not the ooh-I-feel-a-cold-coming kind of sore throat, it’s the windpipe-burned-out kind. What a big difference to walk in the suburbs versus the city. At least for me, I notice it right away. Eventually though, we won’t have anywhere to “run away” to for fresh air. We asked for shorter lunches and an earlier dismissal today.

Plugged in, missed out

I was in a training last week and noticed that 3/4 people at my table chose to stare at their wireless devices during every break rather than converse or get to know one another.  I felt like I was intruding on them whenever I struck up a conversation with any one of them.  Regardless, I interrupted random individuals during the breaks.  Unfortunately, when I did converse, it could only be with 1 person at a time since the other 2 would be on their devices.  We never got a group conversation going.  I felt like we all missed out on a huge benefit of training, which is networking.  I mean learning the material aside, anytime we have a group of professionals gathered together, it never hurts to chat about work or share personal stuff.  I got some old cell phones from a prior training classmate.  (They’re so hard to find these days.)  Anyway, towards the end of the training, we finally did get one quick conversation going and found out one person’s spouse was looking for a job and another guy’s department was hiring.  Had they put down their phones long enough to talk, it might’ve come out sooner!


I was in a training course this week and our instructor is an elderly retired woman.  We were having a class discussion on what factors we would consider when choosing a Lasik doctor and we named considerations such as Location, Reputation, Past History, and Cost.  Then we were asked to rank them.  Almost everyone chose Past History or Reputation as their primary decision factor.  One woman however, said that for her, cost would be her primary consideration.  I chimed in that I agree.  It’s old technology, often done by machines rather than the doctor, and besides, if you can’t afford it, everything else is moot.

She replied to me, “You’re kind of young, so let me share with you some wisdom I’ve collected in my years of experience…” and I tuned out after that.

Dot Matrix

Some of you, sadly, may never know what the term “dot matrix” even means. For the whippersnappers, dot matrix was an old school 80’s era printer that printed on these long sheets of perforated paper with holes on the side that also are perforated and could tear off easily. But whatever. That’s not what I’m here to talk about.

I recently moved into a new office at work and my new office has an old dot matrix printer cart with 3 shelves that sits on wheels. This week I moved all my shoes onto this cart and there’s still room for more shoes! I love it!! I used to have shoes lying about all under my desk. Now, they are neatly organized on my not-so-new dot matrix shoe rack. Now, I’ll be able to bring more shoes in to work.

Mr. Mackey IRL!

There’s an old man in our office who has a habit of finishing his comments with “Okay?” at the end. Okay? It’s so funny when I hear him talk or overhear his conversations (he speaks loudly, because he might be mildly deaf?). Okay? He reminds me of Mr. Mackey from South Park, okay?

Channeling my inner artist

I think half my job is occupied by meetings to nowhere. Today, we had one such meeting where everyone left going, “WTF, if that wasn’t the most useless meeting.”

Here’s how I occupied my time.
ape beating

A car alarm went off at 4:30 AM today. Not cool.

Red Line to….

I’m on a crowded metro car heading into work one morning. The A/C is broken, the heat is climbing and the air is stuffy. It’s bad, but not as bad as going home the previous day on a packed car with no A/C on a hot and humid summer afternoon. Seems to be luck of the draw these days if you get A/C in your metro car. A guy standing behind me starts to breathe heavily and then I hear him give a small groan. “Are you okay?” I ask him. He sort of shakes his head as he mumbles a no. I start fanning him with my newspaper and then he turns around face against the wall and starts to vomit. It’s not a lot and the train is coming to a stop. He quickly heads off the train as he mumbles an apology. I’m worried I’ll have sympathy nausea but it doesn’t smell and I warn a guy stepping into that area not to step in the puddle. It’s the oblivious guys who step without looking. Three different guys had to be warned and one just stepped right in it before another woman had a chance to stop him. I ride the rest of the way trying not to look at the small puddle of stepped-on puke.